Most of you don’t know who I am outside of the whole Tumblr world… So.. I need to get this off my chest. …… When I was 10 years old.. I was acting older than I was.. And I had a 14 year old boyfriend.. And him and 6 of his friends that I don’t know raped me over and over again.. For 7 hours . Now when I post shit on Valentines Day… Its cause that’s when it all happened. And I started cutting and committing suicide because of it and now everyone is afraid I’m going to do something stupid… I recently counted out the months I’ve been clean from pills for 7 months.. I popped pills since that day… Pills were my escape.. I wish I could have them back. But I made a promise.. To someone who is dead that I’d stop ..They can’t hear me… But I promised my best friend and my grandma that I wouldn’t touch them anymore after my 7th overdose. I finally realized I had a problem.. I needed help.. And to anyone who has these problems… There is help out there. You just have to be open with people.
People think they know me but truly no one knows me at all. I can’t sleep at night because the voices in my head tell me not to. I can’t wake up because once I finally fall asleep I know that the next day isn’t going to be any better than the last… And I just want to stay in bed. My boyfriend and my little brother are the only reasons I get out of bed everyday. They need me more than I will ever need me. And the more people smother me the worse it all gets. My dad can’t accept who I am . He hates me. My real mom understands and cares… But I’m not allowed to talk to her. Cause my dads an alcoholic prick . I hate almost everyone!! I need someone to save me!! I’m broken. I can only be a survivor for so long.